Single mom of 4 gets dumped when boyfriend notices her clinginess, she tries to force her way back into his life, despite his resistance: “I was afraid to bring up boundaries”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 10, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Being in a relationship is not always a walk in the park. When you first meet someone, you see them through rose-colored glasses, and it's as if nothing can make them look bad. You have all the patience in the world, all the interest in them, and endless attraction. Over time, some of these things, among other things, will fade, and you start seeing them differently. Frustration, fights, and defensiveness can cause two people who were once very in love to feel differently. Fighting is normal, but it's all about how you fight. Communication and respect should always come first in a relationship, and a lot of other things are encompassed in them. If you respect your partner, then it also means you respect their boundaries. 

In this story, the protagonist is a man who's in a conundrum with his girlfriend. They both have children from other marriages, but that isn't the problem. First of all, he has a problem with her children in particular. He refers to them as glutenous, and doesn't like their attitude. Not to mention that his girlfriend doesn't seem to respect him or their time together. But you'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    "She criticized me for having alone time"
    via @gettyimages / Canva
  • 02
    AITA for breaking up with my single mom girlfriend because of the way she spoils her kids and because she acted clingy?
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 03
    I(M41) dated Sarah (F41) for 9 months until the end of 2024. She's a single mom, and I understood that I needed to accommodate her kids (F16, M15, M5, M8). I'm a Dad myself so I fully understand the importance of finding not just a gf but a
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541

    Already from the text, this man sounds like he's mature. He understands and knows exactly what he wants from a woman, and his responsibilities as well. He's taking on the pressure of accommodating her children knowing that she's a single mom. 

  • 04
    potential stepmother and being a potential stepfather.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 05
    She has a job, and I have a good job and I'm generally financially stable. I'm mentioning this to establish that she's not starving or anything. We went on dates and occasionally brought her kids along. I don't know if this is a defense mechanism but I noticed
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541

    It's also really cute and sweet that he was willing to go on dates with her children. It's not everyday you find a man with children ready for this kind of dynamic. There are too many guys out there with kids who don't fulfill the fatherly roles the way they should. 

  • 06
    that she interrupts a lot if she disagrees with the conversation, and I had to ask her to stop raising her voice at me.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 07
    I have 3 kids (F6, M12, F13). I have an excellent relationship with my ex wife and her husband. My kids have been taught to be discreet and not to demand stuff when we go out, especially if someone else is paying. There's no nice way to say this, but her children are gluttons. I treated everyone at the
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 08
    movies and her children just kept adding stuff. It didn't bother me at first because the movies are the one place where I allow my kids to eat whatever they want and always made sure they are warm enough. She never offered to pay for part of it nor did she ask her kids to stop asking for stuff. She
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 09
    insisted on wearing a sleeveless dress and left her jacket in her car, despite my warnings about the theater being a bit chilly. I had to give her my jacket because she immediately asked for it when we sat down and her children were cold and uncomfortable the whole movie. After the third or fourth
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 10
    incident, I refused to hand her my jacket but did bring some of my kids' own hoodies for her kids to wear, 2 of which she didn't return and her older kids started wearing like they owned it until I had to ask for it back. She got mad at me for not letting her have my jacket. She said a real gentleman would.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 11
    Because going out with the whole family was both a logistics challenge and a bit expensive, I suggested we had dates at home, the children would be included and we would all be comfortable. She agreed, so I cooked/baked and everyone seemed happy.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 12
    Fast forward and she started bringing her kids along without a warning. This forced a change of plans. She does have a trusted babysitter, but she insisted that we needed to make memories. I started getting ped, because she didn't show the same interest in my children and I brought it up.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 13
    Last November, I got out of my car to use her bathroom and when I walked back, 2 of her kids were already sitting inside. It's not the kids fault or that I didn't want to be around them, but our dates became uncomfortably unpredictable because she would say something and do another. I
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 14
    would leave my house under the assumption of a quiet date and she would make the decision to include her kids on her own.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 15
    Last Xmas, I organized gift openings for everyone. Her daughter kept digging in the gift bag and made a comment that I didn't appreciate once she realized there was nothing else for her. She obviously expected/is used to getting more gifts but that
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 16
    right there helped me make the decision that we are not right for each other.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 17
    I talked to Sarah about it, but she said kids are being kids. Again, I brought up that her changing of plans at the very last minute stressed me out and that I would be okay just hanging out at home. She seems to understand and we moved on.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 18
    We went out for tacos at her insistence. Everything was great until I noticed that her kids were ordering the expensive stuff. I immediately asked for a single combination dish for each since single dish steaks and ribs are huge where we went. Sarah said I was being controlling and told the
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 19
    waitress to get each kid what they wanted. Well, her kids didn't even get through half their plates after she lectured me and said "she doesn't mess" with her kid's food nor allows anyone to do it. I resented that since I was paying and she made it sound like I was trying to starve them.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 20
    We didn't spend NYE together because I had plans with my kids. She got mad at me but I really wanted to be with my kids and to hold our tradition of having our own little party with balloons and non explosive stuff like confetti poppers. First she called at around 10PM, we talked and I went back
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 21
    to my kids. Then she called again, trying to self invite. I explained, by the millionth time, that this is my special tradition with my kids. She texted that she was taking her kids to the town square and called almost immediately which stressed me out because I live about 6 minutes away. She said her kids were bored but I took
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 22
    away the opportunity of having a great family night. I avoided further conversation because I knew it would end in an argument if I brought up boundaries. We talked at midnight and saw each other the next day. I don't know if she has a different concept of relationships or if she's naturally clingy, but she started
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 23
    objecting/criticizing me for having time alone. It's not like I didn't make an effort to spend time together, but I have a very demanding job and I occasionally appreciate moments of solitude to recharge.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 24
    Well, a few days ago, I let her know that I was going to sleep early and that I wanted to spend the day doing nothing. She still showed up unannounced and I didnt allow her past my doorway ( I know it was ride). First, she playfully accused me of having someone at my place, then she also (playfully) tried to get past
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 25
    me. I had to ask her to leave, and then she got very serious and said she demanded full transparency or we were done. She went from playful to a bit angry then she started getting emotional. I promised I was alone but if I let her in, I would end things because she didn't respect my boundaries.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 26
    She came in, found nothing, and then tried to get affectionate. I said we were done. She cried and I felt a bit of pain because I still have feelings for her, but I can't keep acting like everything is OK.
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 27
    I feel guilty knowing that she thinks I'm doing it because she's a single mom. We have exchanged some messages but I blocked her because she wants me to take all the blame. Maybe I should have been more patient, but her parenting and attachment style did affect our relationship. AITA?
    via u/LongjumpingDay1541
  • 28
    Traditional-Trade795 i stopped reading halfway through because i didnt want to be subjected to more unreasonable nonsense. mate, if she doesnt want to be an adult and doesnt want to raise her kids.... good job on your early exit.
    via u/Traditional-Trade795
  • 29
    Wakemeup3000 NTA. At least you figured it out before you were in too deep. When someone pushes their kids on you to make memories they are trying to keep you on the hook so you won't break the kid's hearts if
    via u/Wakemeup3000
  • 30
    you call it quits. She a taker and she'll have you replaced fast with someone else she'll financially ab_e.
    via u/Wakemeup3000

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